It’s ok to grieve, though it might not be a very American thing to do. The French have their tragedies, but the happy endings belong to us. We are the king of happy endings. Our shows end with the universe being saved by superheroes, usually within two hours. In fact, over here, if you’re fast enough, you can even walk into an ER and have your finger sewn back on. It’s just amazing, really.
But bring us the intractable problem. The cancer that won’t go away, the financial break that never arrives, the loved one caught in addiction. Suddenly, despite being a member of one of the richest countries on earth, we find ourselves co-sufferers with others with no tidy ending in sight.
For those of us who are Christians this can be doubly hard depending on how well we understand God’s revelation of Himself through Scripture. Isn’t God the God of all comfort? The shepherd who makes us lie down in green pastures? Isn’t He all powerful–powerful enough to protect us from tragedies, sickness, and little children from violence?
And, if I agree that He is sovereign and knows best, what do I do when He allows atrocities like the Holocaust or famine or people living in poverty?
What if, despite knowing all that I know about the power, love, and sovereignty of God, I cry over these things? What if after the Hallmark movie ends there is no happy ending for me or those I care for? Or those I feel for but don’t even know? Is my theology flawed? Or is God?
Since I’ve already mentioned movies, what if God begins to seem to me a little like Mickey Mouse in Fantasia, who in his power to wield the wizard’s hat, becomes somewhat maniacal and scary?
How can I come to this God? How do I explain my fears and conundrums to Him while acknowledging the reality He allows? What if through my tears, a quiet anger begins to swell within?
I don’t like this.
I don’t like what You allow.
I don’t like how You work.
And then something I never intended to do happens. Just like that, I slip into the judge’s seat and without knowing it, place God on trial. I pick up the gavel, slam it down, and declare God to be what I think Him to be: unknowable, dead, evil, or non-existent.
When I find myself in this place of tears and questioning, I must admit that I stand at a crossroad. God has offended me. Do I exile Him from my life and part ways or am I going to live in the tension and stay in a relationship with this enigmatic Person?
And here’s the thing. When I get to that crossroad, that pavement strewn with broken bodies, broken governments, and broken dreams and really see it and am honest with my pain and question it–there is where I can find the footpath that enables me to continue on, hand in hand with God.
If I want to.
But how?
Enter now one of the most fantastic passages in the Bible. In it I learn three things: that Jesus does not chide the doubt of the sufferer, that the greatest of His servants doubt and suffer, and that I am blessed when I refuse to let myself be offended by His decisions.
Now when John heard in prison about the deeds of Christ, he sent word by his disciples and said to him, “Are you the One who is to come, or shall we look for another?”
Matthew 11
John is in prison, He has been in prison for a while and John is no ordinary person. In fact, Jesus Himself said John was the greatest person ever born of woman. John has been faithful. He’s had a massive ministry. He was filled with the Spirit while in his mother’s womb. He has been brave, confronting Herod. He has not been envious for fame, acknowledging earlier that Christ’s ministry must increase and his must decrease. He even heard the Spirit anoint Christ as he baptized Him. But John is human, just like me. And like him, in my jail-cell of suffering I can find myself asking like John did, “Are You the Christ, or shall we look for another?”
Because in all honesty, this isn’t how I imagined things working out.
And Jesus, precious Jesus, responds to John, not with indignation at the question, but with truth and a blessing.
Go and tell John what you hear and see: the blind receive sight and the lame walk, lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear and the dead are raised up, and the poor have the good news preached to them.
Matthew 11
And then one of the best verses in the Bible for sufferers,
And blessed is the one who is not offended by me.”
Matthew 11
Here is Jesus Himself saying what is so hard for me to admit I feel.
Sometimes He is offensive.
But Jesus makes no apologies. He acknowledges it right off. In so many words He tells me that He is God and I’m not going to like how things looks for a while.
BUT, blessed are those who are not offended by me.
What does that mean? It means that if I decide to accept Him despite His unexplained actions, I am blessed. I experience great favor.
What?
How?
Where is the blessing in that?
And then quietly, like a the first rays of dawn on a dark landscape, I begin to understand what He means. Because if I accept Him, Him then I HAVE Him. I have His presence in the mess, His comfort in the midst of tears, His strength when I stumble, and His forgiveness for my sins. I continue through life, yes, with tears, but WITH Him.
But, if I leave the crossroad of pain saying He is dead or does not exist, or that I won’t talk to Him because I am angry, I walk this vale of tears without Him. My comfort and security will become only what comfort I can garner from my friends, family, money, possessions, pets, etc.
That’s why it is good to mourn. To be honest. To acknowledge the pain. It is the first step in allowing Christ to walk with me. Without acknowledging it, I can’t take my pain to Him. I can’t move past the crossroad. I am frozen between two paths. Living in that stress is toxic. Once I grieve and accept the truth He offers, I can continue on the road with Him, knowing that my Shepherd will be faithful to prepare a table for me even in the presence of my enemies.
So my sweet Savior shows me how to live in this world of pain. It is not by rejecting Him because pain exists and putting Him on trial, convicting Him because His choices have offended me. It is by acknowledging the pain, mourning it, and still staying in a relationship with him. After all, isn’t He the God who promises, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted”?
When and how is still up to Him, but I surely shall be comforted. And after all, I have Him. That is treasure enough.
After these things the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision, saying, “Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your exceedingly great reward.”
Genesis 15:1-4 NKJV
Photo by Mantas Hesthaven on Unsplash
Walking Towards Sunday 